Foxy Lady
by ric16
Summary: When Kazu realises he needs a girlfriend, he may have set his sights too high.  KazuxRenamon, yeah, you read that right.


**Wow, I have never, ever written a story this quickly. About four or five hours it took for 3654 words. However, when I get an idea in my head, it's very difficult to stop. Beer helps as well, I just make sure to proof read it when I've sobered up.**

**Oh, and I promise this will be the last Kazu story for a while. Mainly because I promised a friend I'd do a yaoi sex story next (he's a pervert... in a good way... kind of). But I promise you, this story has a pairing you've probably never seen before, or at least I've never seen it before.**

**I do not own Digimon, or anything else for that matter apart from the few meagre items in my rented flat. Enjoy!**

Imagine an ordinary bedroom of a supposedly normal teenager. Now imagine an unordinary conversation and an interesting conclusion from a not so normal brain.

'Dude, I'm bored,' moaned Kazu leaning back in his chair. Kenta ignored him and continued reading his comic sprawled out on Kazu's bed. 'Bored, bored, bored, sooooo bored!'

'Kazu, what will it take to shut you up?' sighed Kenta.

'I'm only trying to make conversation chumley,' said Kazu, 'I am more bored than a gay guy at a soccer match.'

Kenta rolled his eyes, 'I'm sure some gay guys like soccer, Kazu.'

'Yeah right, sure they do,' he said sarcastically.

'Have you ever even met a gay guy?' asked Kenta putting down his comic.

'Well... no, but... that's not the point,' answered Kazu, 'The point is, I'm bored.'

'What am I supposed to do about that?'

'Nothing dude. It's just ever since Takato and Henry got girlfriends, we've been left practically alone.'

'Them and Rika and Jeri still hang around with us Kazu,' said Kenta, 'Just because they want time to themselves sometimes, doesn't mean they're abandoning us.'

'Yeah, but they get to talk about couple stuff, and they get to double date... dude, we need girlfriends.'

'And where do you expect to magic these women who can put up with you from?'

'Hey! I said we need girlfriends!' shouted Kazu, 'Plural, dude!'

'As long as I've got MarineAngemon, I don't desperately need to go out looking for women,' Kenta said with a smirk.

'Stupid cute Digimon,' grumbled Kazu, 'What am I supposed to do? Guardromon's cool and all but he's hardly pussy magnet!'

'How many times do I have to tell you,' sighed Kenta. 'It's referring to things like that that mean you're not gonna get a girlfriend.'

'Oh come on! Who wouldn't want to go out with the mighty BlackWarKazumon!'

'Someone with half a brain cell?'

'Ha freaking ha Kenta.'

Kazu got up and started to pace the room. 'All I need to think of is who to target. What girls are there in our class?'

'Well, there's Natsuki,' Kenta began.

'Too bitchy, always thinks she's right.'

'Bit like you then,' muttered Kenta.

'What?'

'Erm, nothing, what about Ayako?'

'Too emotional.'

'Chou?'

'Too thin, I'm sure she's anorexic or something.'

'Yuki?'

'Too boring. Like... super boring.'

'Saki?'

'Too serious.'

'Nana?'

'Hates Digimon.'

'And that's a negative enough point to ignore her?'

'When you've got a real life Digimon, yeah!'

'Fair enough, Setsuko?'

'Talks too much.'

'Yuuko?'

'Doesn't talk enough.'

'Mio?'

'Bitchier than Natsuki.'

'That's everyone in our class Kazu.'

'You sure? I could have sworn there were more.'

'The only other one is Jeri and I don't think Henry would be that pleased if you hit on his girlfriend.'

'Arrgh,' screamed an annoyed Kazu. 'What other girls do we know?'

'We're nerdy, we don't know any girls,' replied Kenta, 'Apart from Rika and the same rules apply for her that apply for Jeri. Although it's more than likely her that will beat you up than Takato.'

'What about... Henry's sisters?' asked Kazu.

'The phrase "clutching at straws" comes to mind. You have no chance with Jaarin and if you fancy Suzie, I'm gonna have you chemically castrated.'

'Rika's mum?'

'Dude... seriously?'

'She's single, it might be worth a shot!'

'If you want Rika to murder you, then go for it.'

Kazu sat back down and sulked. Kenta could tell that Kazu's mind was trying to figure something out, and he dreaded to think what it would come up with.

'AHA!' Kazu suddenly shouted.

'Oh god, what now?' asked Kenta.

'Dude, I've just thought of the perfect girl.'

'I'm sure you and this imaginary girl can have a lot of fun together.'

'Hey! She isn't imaginary.'

'Do we know her?'

'Of course we do. And she's perfect. She's smart, attractive, strong willed. She has a certain "foxy" allure you could say.'

Kenta didn't like how Kazu had put that. 'I mean... you obviously don't mean...'

Kazu merely smiled back at him.

'Y-You don't... actually mean...' He was still smiling. 'Dude...'

'Why not?'

'B-But she's... dude!'

'Name one reason why she wouldn't go out with me!'

'I could name a million given enough time. We are talking about the same person... well, not person... but... you mean Renamon don't you?'

'Of course! I don't know why I didn't think of it before!' said Kazu smugly.

'Okay, morality of Digimon/Human relations aside, let's think practically. She basically a furry version of Rika!'

'She's not that bad Kenta! She's never beaten us up!'

'Yeah because without even trying she'd break us in half! Literally!'

'She doesn't have Rika's anger issues dude.'

'Look,' said Kenta exasperated, 'If you're really gonna do this, I don't want anything to do with it. I'm wiping my hands of the whole affair.'

As Kenta got up to leave, Kazu asked, 'You really don't think I can do this do you?'

'Seriously Kazu, you haven't got a chance. I'd bet a billion yen on it.'

'How about we make it more interesting, say a real sum like, 5000 yen.'

'Come on Kazu, I don't have any disposable income like that!'

'Alright, something else then.'

Kazu looked around his room and smirked when his eyes landed on something.

'Okay then,' he said. 'If I don't get a date with Renamon, you can have my Playstation.'

'What?' said a surprised Kenta. 'But you only just got that thing?'

'Yeah so,' shrugged Kazu, 'I'm that confident, and if, or should I say when, I charm Renamon, you, have to spend an entire day pretending to be a girl. I get to pick a dress for you to wear, a name for your new feminine personality and you have to speak like a girl as well. Oh, and makeup, lots of makeup.'

'So, it's your Playstation, against me in drag?'

'Exactly dude. Unless of course, you think I will get a date with Renamon?'

Kenta didn't think it over long and shook Kazu's hand. 'You've got yourself a deal. I'll be back in a week to pick up my new Playstation. Try not to cry too much when she turns you down.'

'Yeah, well... err...' Kazu couldn't think of a comeback before Kenta walked out of the door. 'Dammit!'

* * *

><p>'Okay Guardromon, let's brainstorm. How can I get Renamon to go on a date with me?'<p>

Guadromon was still drowsy from been suddenly woken up and so still didn't quite comprehend what Kazu had explained to him.

'What is this "date" thing you keep going on about Kazu?'

'You know, it's a... date, as in going out together,' explained Kazu.

'Well that makes it perfectly clear.'

Kazu missed Guadromon's sarcasm completely, 'So, is there any special way of seducing a Digimon?'

'You have to seduce her to go on this date?'

'Of course! But are female Digimon any different from female humans?'

'I wouldn't know.'

'How couldn't you know! You're a male Digimon, how would you get a girlfriend?'

'First of all Kazu,' explained Guadromon, 'Digimon don't do things like humans. We practically mate for the sole purpose of reproducing. And secondly, I'm a Machine Digimon, I don't reproduce like you might think. What happens is, I...'

'Dude!' interupted Kazu, 'I really don't want to know how you make little baby Guadromons.' Kazu grabbed a piece of paper and a pen off his desk.

'Looks like I'll have to do it the old fashioned way, now what do women like?'

Kazu thought for a moment before he started writing stuff down. 'Flowers! They like flowers, they smell nice and look good. And they're cheap! And err... poetry! Women like poetry, oh, except I don't know how to write poems.'

'How about, "There once was a Mon from..."'

'I mean proper poetry Guardromon, not one of your dirty limericks! Hmm, I'll come back to that. Women like... err, when you dress nice.'

'Somehow I think Renamon, who walks around without clothes all the time, won't be that bothered about your dress sense.'

'Yeah, well, it always pays to look nice.'

Kazu spent the next couple of hours coming up with ideas and disregarding some of them. When he was finished he turned to a now very bored Guardromon, 'Kenta better start practising his high pitched girly voice, 'cause I'm gonna get this date or die trying!'

* * *

><p>The sun was setting over Shinjuku park and as usual, a solitary figure stood guard in the trees above.<p>

_Hmm, no trouble since Sunday. It's been a good week, _she thought to herself.

However, her ears suddenly twitched when in the distance she heard someone shouting.

'Renamon! Where are you, Renamon?'

_Is that... Kazu?_

Confused, she set out towards the source of the noise and soon came across Kazu of all people. As she dropped down from the trees, she noticed Kazu's appearance had changed considerably. Gone were the same old clothes he always wore, replaced by a smart shirt and tie. He'd even got rid of the visor completely and his hair seemed well trimmed and neat for once. One of his hands was obscured behind his back whilst the other held a small piece of paper in front of him.

'Ahem,' Kazu cleared his throat and then started reading from the piece of paper.

'She moves as gracefully as a summers breeze,

As she jumps from branch to branch amongst the trees,

She is of course Renamon, the golden fox,

And if you're honest, you know she rocks,

She's fiery, bold, brave and true,

When she attacks her enemies, they don't have a clue,

So call me crazy and put me in the stocks,

But I'll always love Renamon, the golden fox.'

Kazu put the piece of paper away and brought his other hand out from behind his back, revealing a bouquet of flowers.

'These are for you,' he said giving them to Renamon, 'I didn't know what you'd like, so I thought daffodils would be appropriate because of the colour.'

Renamon took the flowers and stood in silence, speechless for the first time in her life.

'Kazu,' she finally said, 'Are you feeling okay? Have you fallen on your head or something?'

'I'm fine Renamon,' he said smoothly, 'Can a guy not buy a girl some flowers and tell her she's pretty?'

'What are you up to?' asked Renamon suspiciously.

'I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me?' Kazu said bluntly.

'A date? As in what Takato and Rika go on.'

'And what Henry and Jeri get up to and what millions of couples around the world do. Yes, a date.'

Renamon was once again stunned into silence. She was never one to give away much with her facial expression but her current one was clearly screaming to Kazu, "Are you crazy?"

'Okay look,' sighed Kazu, 'I'll be honest with you, I've got a bet on with Kenta. If I can get a date with you, he has to cross dress for an entire day but if I don't he gets my Playstation. So... what do you say?'

* * *

><p>'HE DID WHAT!'<p>

Rika's scream was heard several streets away from the Nonaka home causing several babies to wake up and a couple of stray dogs to flee in terror.

'He asked me on a date,' repeated Renamon.

'And what did you say?' asked Rika, barely keeping her boiling anger under control.

'I left him there without an answer, I thought it would be less insulting than a straightforward no.'

'This time he's gone too far!' shouted Rika, banging her fist on the table hard enough to make even Renamon jump slightly. 'I said before I'm gonna kill him, this time I'm literally gonna do it! What the hell made him even think about doing this?'

'He said he had bet with Kenta,' replied Renamon.

'A bet?'

'Yes, if he could get a date with me, Kenta had to cross dress for a day, but since he didn't, Kenta gets Kazu's Playstation.'

Renamon saw Rika's expression slowly change from one of anger to a very evil smile. She didn't like where this was going.

* * *

><p>'I must say, it's weird of you to ask me to hang out with you alone Rika,' said Kenta as they both walked down the street.<p>

'We are friends, remember Kenta? Besides, gogglehead's birthday is coming up and you've known him for longer than me, so I need your help picking out a present.'

Rika's friendly tone was incredibly unnerving to Kenta. Nevermind that she suddenly called him out the blue and asked him to go shopping with her, the fact that she hadn't made a single joke or thrown an insult at him yet made Kenta think something was terribly wrong.

They went through several shops not really paying attention to anything in particular. Rika then started leading Kenta away from the main shopping district.

'Err, Rika, where are we going?'

'Oh, I know a couple of shops we could try. Just follow me,' she said with a smile.

_Rika never smiles like that_ thought Kenta, _This is it isn't it? She's gonna lead me down a dark alley and then put a bullet in the back of my head._

Little did Kenta know that Rika's plans were slightly different than that. As they passed a cinema, Rika stopped. 'I need a break, let's sit here and rest for a while.'

'Erm, okay,' said Kenta.

They both sat down on a bench opposite the cinema entrance. Whilst Kenta tried to start a conversation, Rika's eyes were fixed firmly on the cinema and so Kenta resigned himself to staring at the floor. Eventually, after about ten minutes, she spoke, 'Well look what we have here?'

'Huh?'

Kenta looked up at Rika to see her still staring at the cinema. He followed her line of sight and soon saw what she had spotted. A film had clearly just finished as a crowd of people exited the cinema. But standing out of the crowd, was a tall yellow fox, which in Shinjuku was nothing weird. What was weird, was the teenage boy that had his arm round her waist.

'K-K... Kazu!' stuttered Kenta.

Rika stood up and waved the two of them over.

'So,' she said, 'Did you enjoy the film?'

'Yeah, although I think we've both seen scarier things in real life than in any horror ever made,' replied Kazu.

'What are you two doing now then?'

'We were going to go for a meal, Kazu knows a place where they won't ask questions about me been a Digimon,' answered Renamon.

'Kenta, dude, you okay?'

Kazu's voice was barely acknowledged by Kenta but managed to produce a small squeak from the almost paralysed Tamer. As Renamon and Kazu walked off, Rika turned to Kenta as he came out of his trance.

'I'm guessing you knew about this Rika?' he asked.

'I don't know what you're talking about,' Rika said with a smile that clearly said she did. 'Now come on, we're gonna go do something that I might actually enjoy for the first time in my life.'

'Which is?'

'We're going dress shopping of course!'

* * *

><p>'It's been a good week guys,' said Kazu happily as he leant against the side of Guilmon's hut. 'I've got a girlfriend and Kenta's been humiliated.'<p>

Both Takato and Henry looked at each other, knowing that Kazu didn't have a girlfriend and his date with Renamon was merely a setup. However, they kept silent knowing that the other person here had to be kept in the dark.

'How you holding up there Mimi?' asked Takato.

'I hate you guys so much.'

Of course, Kenta's situation had much to do with Rika's sense of humour. She'd purposely dressed Kenta almost exactly like Mimi from the first series of the Digimon anime in order to make him look as girly as possible. She had several other ideas, but thought Kenta would look more ridiculous in the hat.

'Now, now Mimi. What has happened to your voice?' asked Kazu mockingly.

Kenta growled at him before repeating himself in a much higher voice. 'I said, I hate you guys so much!'

As the guys laughed at him, the hut was lit up with a flash. Turning towards the door, the guys saw Rika and Jeri standing there and Jeri was holding a camera.

'Aww, man, do we have to have pictures?'

'Voice Mimi!' pointed out Henry.

'I said, argh, you know what I said!'

'Sorry Kenta,' said Jeri, 'When Ryo found out what happened, he said he wanted to see pictures.'

'Oh by the way, Kazu,' said Rika, 'Your "girlfriend" wants to talk to you outside.'

This took Kazu by surprise, but realising Kenta was still here, he kept up the pretense.

'Well, boyfriend duties await. You never know Mimi, maybe you'll get a nice guy like me one of these days.'

Kazu left a fuming Kenta and exited the hut. Standing to one side leaning against a tree, was Renamon.

'Err, hey. You wanted to talk to me?'

'Erm, yes, yes I did.'

This was a new one to Kazu. Renamon seemed to be nervous for some reason.

'Thank you for the date the other day,' she said quickly avoiding looking at Kazu directly.

'Oh,' he said surprised, 'Well, yeah, no problem. I should be the one thanking you anyway. I might have not had a Playstation by now hehe.'

The two of them went into a very awkward silence, until Kazu decided to take a gamble.

'You know... I-If you want, we could... go on another date, at some point. I mean... If you want to, it's up to you, I don't...'

'I'd like that,' Renamon interupted.

'Well... great, err...' Kazu suddenly noticed how the distance between the two of them had shrunk massively since the start of the conversation and for the first time they were looking into each others eyes. Before Kazu knew what was happening, Renamon suddenly leant down slightly and planted a light kiss on his lips. She pulled away after only a few seconds.

'Tomorrow night. I'll meet you at your place at seven,' she said before doing her usual disappearing act.

A quarter of an hour later, concerned as to where Kazu had got to, the others came out of Guilmon's hut, only to find Kazu passed out on the ground but with a very contented smile on his face.

**Aww, I like this story. Then again I wrote it so it'd be weird if I didn't. All the Japanese girls names were supplied off of the internet, so if any of them aren't actually names or are usually boys names or something, blame the internet... and my lack of understanding of Japanese.**

**Also, I was really pleased how the poem came out. You may have realised, I can't write poetry, but that doesn't matter because Kazu clearly can't either. I also like the idea that Guardromon knows loads of dirty limericks. Anyway, enough of me blowing my own trumpet, I hope you enjoyed the story, TTFN!**


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